What it takes to follow Jesus (part 2 of 2)

Today (9/5/20) there was a teaching led by a man from south africa his name is Dion he taught in what it costs to follow Jesus. He had some examples of real people and how much they have to go through just to follow Jesus. He showed us (my squad and me) a picture of of three women he said the women on the far left is mentally disabled. She’s mentally disabled because she’s beaten by her husband and son for her faith in Christ this is in india, she’s apart of a church of three which are the other two women standing beside her in the picture. Dion turns to us and asks are you ready to sacrifice your mind for Christ? There were at least for more examples he had if people suffering for there faith and with each example came the question of will you do the same or what are you willing to give up. My answer to his question was yes I am willing or I am willing to give up everything. After the teaching I asked the Lord what else can I give up Lord that I haven’t already? The Lord said ,” your knife”. After the Lord said that I immediately thought ok what do I do with this knife how do I get rid of it, I went through a couple of scenarios and all of them didn’t fit this puzzle but the Lord brought me the missing puzzle peace. He told me, “Alex”. Alex is one of my squadmates he had a knife already but it wasn’t a good knife . So as I passed by alex on my way back to my seat after praying over another squadmate I told him,” hold on I’ve got a present for you ” I have him my knife. He was shocked and asked me,” are you serious ?!” I said,” yes I am be blessed”. He’s was filled from head to toe with excitement. At this point I believe that moment was just the beginning of a long and loving brotherhood. About and hour later I’m sitting there sewing some pants and I feel this horrible feeling at the bottom of my stomach like I had just screamed at some children or done something horrible. I was in pain not physical pain but emotional pain. I immediately thought did I just make a mistake? I asked the Lord did I act to fast ? What do I do God this feeling won’t go away and he reminded me I have a multitude of leaders I can ask for advice in this situation. So I asked my squad leader Philip Wilson if we could talk the next day, we ironed out a time of 9:00 a.m. after that I went to my hamock to try and sleep but my mind frantically started going through scenarios of what am I going to do how am I going to get my knife back. The Lord reminds me of a song lyric that has some serious truth to it it says, ” don’t let the worry of tomorrow steal from the peace today”. So in that I prayed to the lord asking for peace to flood over me and I fell asleep. The next morning that horrible feeling I had the day before was almost completely gone and no where near as strong. As the morning went on the lord ministered to me reminding me who he is and how good he is. He brought up one thing and it had a domino effect in my mine he said, “the Lord only wants good things for you”. With that one sentence the dominos started one by one. That one piece of information of truth lead to God is personal he knows what I was going to use that knife for on this mission trip he knows how much I love using knifes for all kinds of outdoor activities. Above all he loves me and wants nothing but goodness for me, so I can trust in him and the amazing things he has set for me in this mission trip. I talked to Phil even though I kinda felt fine now that the Lord coached me through it. Phillip asked did you see the joy that Alex had. With that gift he was just told that he is loved and accepted into this squad but not just this squad but into a brotherhood with you. I realized at that moment I was blessed with an awesome knife to bless alex with. I had no idea just how much I cared about that knife either it hurt giving it up but that’s brings me one step closer to the lord